Delius: A Life in Letters 1862-1908

urn:iso:std:iso:639:ed-3:eng

270-271

text excerpt

How much inspiration, pure delight and joy "Sea-drift" awakened in me and left imprinted on me, I will not describe to you in more detail, but will just tell you that the mere knowledge of your physical existence has given me a source of inner warmth and joy in activity that enriches me in all my artistic undertakings. / My job in Dortmund was difficult: - as a young conductor, who had completely abandoned his career because of two years' interruption through stickness, suddenly to be put in so responsible a post (Hüttner handed the post over to me when I visited him with my compositions), a post which might easily have overtaxed my strength, it was up to me to sacrifice all consideration for my personal welfare and above all to justify by deeds the colossal confidence placed in me. It came off. I got on really marvellously with the orchestra, and also with Hüttner, the critics, the public. - It was a splendid opportunity to put matters to the test, - that is, to see whether I was any good as an orchestra conductor (that can only be found out on the rostrum) - and in consequence to set a different course for the future! Thank God it turned out so splendidly; so my childhood dream has not deceived me - as a boy of 3 I already used to stand for hours (at concerts and at home) humming and conducting with stubborn persitence; - the orchestra governed my imagination, my games; - only during my illness did I lose hope of realising my dream; and now it has come true after all, I didn't stick it out alone, no - it's the basis of my life without which I cannot survive, and through it my spirit and body are fresh and active as ever!

excerpt from 'Delius: A Life in Letters 1862-1908' pp. 270-271 (307 words)

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