I can remember an old man called William Burroughs, but always known as “Nosy Burroughs” because of his large smeller; he wore a large leather contraption, across one shoulder and under the opposite arm like an officer’s sash, with an inscription on it: “William Burroughs, the Portsmouth Poet, Patronised by Royalty”, and a crown. This was because he wrote a piece about the celebrated elephant who was sold by the London Zoo [in March 1882] to the American showman, Barnum. He sent a copy to Queen Victoria and she accepted it and wrote a letter of thanks. I know only one verse:

Jumbo said to Alice ‘I love you’

Alice said to Jumbo, ‘I don’t believe you do”

‘If you really loved me, as you say you do,

You wouldn’t go to America and leave me in the Zoo’.

Alice was his mate of course. This wonderful work of art was accepted by the Queen. She must have been bats, or perhaps her secretary just sent the letter off without her knowledge. Anyway, Nosy was very proud of his effort and used to sing it in pubs and pass round the hat.