Diary entry 22^nd November 1727

Rise at 9. Great debates with myself and heartach about the Musick meeting.. I thought it best (not from inclination for I imagin’d bad in it; which proved real - wondrous wretch!), to send word I woud go. After dinner fretted and cry’d; delicate preparation – I have no command over myself... Fitt to be a publick specticle indeed. Mrs. Dyott sent her Coach empty for me. I made it wait near an hour – a new thing to me. At last set out with swell’d Eyes, stupidity in my face, dress’d like a ridiculous charicter in a play, to show myself in one of the most polite, crowded places and met with all I expected: I had no forbearance. Made Mrs. Dyott and her yongest beauty daughter too late, which added to my confusion. A Great company in their best appearances and humours. Fine Musick I don’t doubt. Senesino and the 2 Women sang. For want of a servant, forc’d to croud Mrs. Dyott’s Coach. So the day begun and ended in the most wrong, mall-a-propos blunders and confusion. Had I stood in the Pillory I should not have been exposed more to my disadvantage. Mrs. Dyott, her 2 daughters and Son set me down at 10. Sup’d alone, comfortliss. Read some Spectators.. Bed 12. Fine Day.